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Here’s How to Begin Handling the Complicated Grief of Parent Loss

You could find that self-care, coping mechanisms, and mindfulness exercises help you accept your loss and the emotions that accompany it.

When a parent, whose presence in your life may have never faltered, passes away, the finality of death can seem almost unreal.

You finished growing up and successfully reached adulthood, but you still needed (and expected to have) your parents for years to come.

Even if their passing was anticipated, the loss of their love, support, and wisdom can leave a deep void and hurt that may never fully go away.

Or, maybe you and your parent were estranged or had a complicated relationship, resulting in a roller coaster of conflicting emotions.

However, after the required three days of bereavement leave, possibly supplemented by a few additional days of personal time, the general public could expect you to bounce back from your loss rather quickly and return to work.

These techniques can provide a beginning point as you start to accept your loss, but there is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a parent.

Recognize the validity of your feelings.

After losing a parent, sadness is appropriate, but it’s also OK for other emotions to take over.

Even if you don’t feel depressed, that’s okay. Maybe all you feel is numbness or relief that they are no longer in pain. The portal to a plethora of complex, frequently contradictory emotions is opened by grief.

Despite all of the difficulties, your relationship with your parent remained a crucial part of who you are.

They became your first anchor in the world, either by creating you or by adopting and raising you.

Following a loss of this magnitude, it is normal to struggle or have trouble accepting your sadness.

You may encounter:

  • anger or frustration
  • guilt, perhaps for not contacting them frequently or not being present for their death
  • shock and emotional numbness
  • confusion, disbelief, or a sense of unreality
  • hopelessness or despair
  • physical pain
  • mental health symptoms, including depression or thoughts of suicide
  • relief that they’re no longer in pain

No matter how the loss hits you, remember this: Your feelings are valid, even if they don’t line up with what others think you “should” feel.

Allow yourself to feel the loss completely, reAllow yourself to feel the loss completely, regardless of how long it takes.gardless of how long it takes.

Although everyone responds to sorrow differently, it’s crucial to allow yourself to experience all of your emotions.

There is no one correct way to grieve, no time frame after which you should expect to feel better, and no list of phases or actions to complete.

It can be challenging to accept this on its own. It could appear that denying your emotions can hasten your recovery.

Additionally, you may receive the impression that people expect you to put your sorrows behind you and move on before you have fully accepted your loss.

Remember that grieving is a hard and challenging process.

Try not to be influenced by what other people think.

Some people get over their grief quickly and go on, keeping the traces of their melancholy hidden. Regardless of how anticipated the death was, others require more time and assistance.

You might have had more time to prepare if your parent died after a protracted illness, but preparing does not lessen the impact of loss when it strikes.

If you hoped for their recovery right up until the very end, you may still be in shock and disbelief.

On the other hand, losing a parent unexpectedly while they are still in their middle years may make you face your own mortality, which can make grieving more difficult.

Recognize that emotions can shift.

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