You could find that self-care, coping mechanisms, and mindfulness exercises help you accept your loss and the emotions that accompany it.

When a parent, whose presence in your life may have never faltered, passes away, the finality of death can seem almost unreal.

Even though you successfully completed your upbringing and entered adulthood, you still required—and were expected to have—your parents for many years to come.

Even if their death was anticipated, the loss of their love, support, and direction can leave a deep void and hurt that may never fully go away.

Or perhaps you had a complex relationship or were estranged from your parent, which led to a roller coaster of conflicting feelings.

However, after the required three days of bereavement leave, possibly supplemented by a few additional days of personal time, the general public could expect you to bounce back from your loss rather quickly and return to work.

Although there is no right or wrong way to deal with the loss of a parent, these techniques can help you get started as you start to accept your loss.

Know that what you feel is valid

After losing a parent, sadness is appropriate, but it’s also OK for other emotions to take over.

Even if you don’t feel depressed, that’s okay. Maybe all you feel is numbness or relief that they are no longer in pain.

The portal to a plethora of complex, frequently contradictory emotions is opened by grief.

Despite all of the difficulties, your relationship with your parent remained a crucial part of who you are.

They became your first anchor in the world, either by creating you or by adopting and raising you.

Following a loss of this magnitude, it is normal to struggle or have trouble accepting your sadness.

You may encounter:

• Anger or annoyance guilt, maybe for not getting in touch with them more often or for not being there when they experienced death shock and emotional paralysis. Bewilderment, incredulity, or a feeling of unreality
• Desperation or hopelessness, physical discomfort, mental health issues like depression or suicidal thoughts, and relief from pain

Remember this no matter how the loss affects you: Your emotions are real, even if they don’t match what other people believe you “should” feel.

Allow yourself to feel the loss completely, regardless of how long it takes.

Although everyone responds to sorrow differently, it’s crucial to allow yourself to experience all of your emotions.

There is no one correct way to grieve, no time frame after which you should expect to feel better, and no list of phases or actions to complete.

It can be challenging to accept this on its own.

Denying your feelings may seem like a route toward faster healing.

You might also get the message that others expect you to bury your grief and move on before you’ve come to terms with your loss.

Remind yourself grief is a difficult process as well as a painful one.

Try to not let the opinions of others sway you.

Some people get over their grief quickly and go on, keeping the traces of their melancholy hidden. Regardless of how anticipated the death was, others require more time and assistance.

• Make sure you get enough rest. Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Don’t miss meals.
• Pick wholesome snacks and light meals of foods that will make you feel better if you’re not hungry.
• Drink plenty of water. Be sure to stay hydrated.
• Continue to move. To stay energized and improve your mood, continue to be active.
• Even a daily stroll can be beneficial.

Share memories

Talking to family members and other loved ones about what your parent meant to you and sharing stories can help keep their memory alive.

If you have children, you might tell stories about their grandparent or carry on family traditions that were important in your childhood.

It might feel painful at first to reminisce, but you may find that your grief begins to ease as the stories start flowing.

If you feel unable to openly talk about your parent for the moment, it can also help to collect photographs of special times or write them a letter expressing your grief about their passing.

Not everyone has positive memories of their parents, of course.

And people often avoid sharing negative memories about people who’ve passed.

If they abused, neglected, or hurt you in any way, you may wonder whether there’s any point to dredging up that old pain.

If you’ve never discussed or processed what happened, however, you might find it even harder to heal and move forward after their death.

Opening up to a therapist or someone else you trust can help lighten the load.